Mothers’ Day When Your Mother is No Longer With You

I hated Hallmark the year after my Mother died.  Actually, I shouldn’t single out Hallmark, I hated every major company that was running those sappy, heart-warming commercials continuously in the weeks before Mother’s Day.

They, of course, didn’t know that I was barely existing—vacillating between states of numbness and pain.  They couldn’t know that I didn’t know who I was anymore now that I wasn’t her child:  the child she called everyday and who helped me make every decision in my life.  They couldn’t know that I felt alone, now that I was motherless; and that their commercials only intensified those feelings of loneliness because they made me feel alone in being a motherless child.  It seemed that everybody, particularly everyone else in their 20’s, had a mom—but me.

Sadly, almost 20 years later, I now know that I am not alone, not the only motherless child.  I’ve been the friend,…

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