Drunk Aunt Randi and the Prevalence of Peter Pics

Sleep clung onto me this morning like garlic hangs on my breath after pasta night on Friday.  Typically, my body starts moving, even when my mind has to play catch-up; but today they seemed like lazy co-workers, dragging each other back to work after a three-day weekend.  Out of habit, I grabbed my phone to see what was up with the world.  Email–check: nothing urgent; text-check: nothing; Twitter: bingo!  Nikki Minaj’s ex Safaree’s schlong was trending–crushing folk’s #Mondaymotivation tweets (though some would say that Safaree’s pic was quite motivating).

Now I ain’t gonna lie (cause I’m always honest—well, at least when I’m drinkin): the sleepy slits in my eyes quickly slid open like elevator doors. Well, I might as well see what all the fuss is about.  Now, I don’t know who dis Safaree boy is; but he must have a terrible-personality…

Powered by WPeMatico