The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Sometimes Is Shut-up

Bette Midler is my neighbor.  She is my son’s elementary school teacher, my former colleague, and the lady in line with me at the grocery store who struck up a conversation.  The Bette Midlers of the world have been in almost every class I’ve trained and present at every speech I’ve given.  They are White, well-meaning, and uninformed (when it comes to race), and are totally clueless about their ignorance.

This combination of ignorance and cluelessness is volatile, particularly in today’s world when poorly chosen words aren’t simply uttered to one person; but can be broadcast to hundreds or thousands of people via social media.  The pattern is the same:

  • A woman comments on a situation with racial implications with good intentions because she cares and it comes from a place of concern.
  • She feels as if she is qualified to speak…

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